With each passing week, the AFC playoff picture makes less and less sense. The league’s best division might be won by the team that can’t beat any of its division mates. The team with the largest division lead just lost its starting quarterback and now turns to Matt Leinert. And I think the Pottsville Maroons could reform and still have time to win the West.
Here’s how this week’s action played out in the AFC.
AFC East
Patriots and Dolphins win, Jets and Bills lose
For all the talk about the Patriots’ woes, they could easily win out and become the dominant force everyone expects them to. In Evil Empire terminology, their Death Star is still very much under construction, but (in Emperor Palpatine voice) I assure you, it is fully armed and operational.
The Jets scurried around like a band of Ewoks in the first half of their critical showdown with New England, playing tricks with ropes and logs and such, but there was no George Lucas ending to this one. The Empire woke up and started blasting hell out of those furry little bastards, not letting up until they had secured a 37-16 win and first place in the division.
Meanwhile, Buffalo falls further behind the pace with a 44-7 shellacking at the hands of the Dallas Cowboys. (Oh, but that David Nelson is just so cute, did you see him hug that cheerleader?) Yeah, she probably broke up with him that night. Cheerleaders don’t like suck-up losers.
Note to the Bills: Lose the “Johnny America” act and start beating the hell out of teams again. You were pretty good at that a few weeks ago, remember?
AFC North
Steelers win, Ravens, Bengals and Browns lose
The Baltimore Ravens may have a massive tiebreaker advantage over Pittsburgh, courtesy of their two head-to-head wins, but they had better start beating the teams they should or they won’t have a chance to use it. The Steelers have won exactly one of four games in their division (last weekend over the upstart Bengals), but they still sit atop the standings, and have a very friendly finishing slate with only one remaining game against a team with a winning record (the 49ers).
Meanwhile, Joe Flacco just leaves us shaking our heads. Not sure what’s up there in that brain of his. Or for that matter, Cam Cameron, who dialed up only 5 runs for Ray Rice. (That touchdown throw by Rice was pretty sweet, though.)
Cincinnati will have a tough time keeping pace, but with another game against Pittsburgh and two against Baltimore, they could conceivably have a real shot at the wildcard. Got to get AJ Green healthy, though. Their entire offense shut down without him on Sunday.
AFC South
Texans, Titans and Jaguars win, Colts do what they do
The big-impact news in this division isn’t who won or lost, it’s the loss of Matt Schaub for an indefinite period of time with a foot injury of some sort. The Texans have overcome the losses of Andre Johnson and Mario Williams so far, by building a fearsome running game. The team will lean on the tandem of Arian Foster and Ben Tate all the much more, once Matt Leinert takes the reins.
Meanwhile, the Titans’ slim chance of making the playoffs also rests on a rapidly improving running game. Is Chris Johnson 2.0 for real? Was he just suffering an extended bout of “camp legs”? Was his wallet weighing him down? Whatever it was, he’s racking up yardage again and has resumed his role as primary load-carrier for this offense, a good thing since the Titans are down to Nate Washington and a sack of magic beans at wide receiver.
AFC West
Raiders and Broncos win, Chargers and Chiefs lose
There’s a changing of the guard afoot in the AFC West, and the NFL Films crew couldn’t be happier. The Chargers’ pseudo-dominance of the division was a weak, watered down storyline. Except for some awesome Philip Rivers faces, they’re a boring team led by a boring coach that doesn’t do squat in the playoffs. Give me Tebow and the Broncos’ improbable read-option throwback offense. Give me endless footage of young Al Davis and roided-up Raiders knocking people’s heads off. Give me one of the great rivalries in AFC history, reborn.
Oh, and in other news, Matt Cassel is done for the year with some sort of hand injury. I think you can start buying razors now, Todd Haley. Might want to update your resume while you’re at it.
