The NFL was a strange place in Week 2. The Cleveland Browns won a football game against an opponent that’s more than just respectable, and is downright good. The Seahawks pass defense looked oddly ordinary, the Bills haven’t lost yet, and Austin Davis went all Joe Montana on us in the fourth quarter of a game that was delayed by lightning.
It was all so very NFL, a league where odd is treated like oxygen. But in our adventure through zany and/or embarrassing numbers this week, we start with something that’s pretty familiar: the Jacksonville Jaguars being pathetic.
75: The points surrendered by those Jaguars over their first two games. That total is vomit-worthy stuff from any angle, but when you recall the Jaguars shut out Philadelphia in the first half last week before giving up 34 unanswered points, it actually gets worse.
10: The amount of times Chad Henne was sacked during the Jags’ latest slobberknocking, this time at the hands of Washington.
14: Henne’s completions. Yes, that’s right, the Jaguars’ total completions was only four higher than the sacks Henne took. That takes real effort, and an especially atrocious offensive line, the same line that did little for Toby Gerhart while he finished with eight yards on seven carries.
14 (again): The points scored by the Redskins with Kirk Cousins under center over his first three drives. Robert Griffin III led the same offense to six points in a full game last week.
9: Drew Brees’ passing yards in the first quarter of a game New Orleans lost to the Browns (seriously, that happened), falling to 0-2. He finished with 237 yards, which would be a “meh, OK” passing day for most normal quarterback folk. But Brees has averaged at least 320 yards per game in each of the past three seasons.
4: Julius Thomas’ touchdown receptions over the first two weeks. That ties Ben Coates for the most touchdown catches by a tight end through Week 2, a mark which has stood since 1994.
4 (again): The combined amount of regular-season passes attempted last year by the two quarterbacks on the Buccaneers’ schedule so far (Derek Anderson and Austin Davis). Yet somehow, they’re still 0-2.
4 (once more!): Antonio Gates’ touchdown receptions throughout all of last season. He had two in one quarter yesterday, and three overall during the Chargers’ upset win over Seattle, including a sprawling one-handed grab.
42:15: The amount of time San Diego had possession in that game. They killed off nearly three full quarters of game clock, with the Seahawks unable to sustain drives.
41: Total plays run by Seattle. The league average is 65 per game, and of those plays, only six were runs featuring Marshawn Lynch. His average carries per game last year? 18.8.
5: Amount of times Seattle allowed 20 or more points in a game during the 2013 season, including the playoffs. They gave up 20 to San Diego in the first half.
102 yards: The length of C.J. Spiller’s kickoff return touchdown during the Bills’ win over Miami. It was his second career kick return for 95 yards or more.
5: The drops over two games by Victor Cruz. In fairness, the definition of a drop can get pretty loose, and a few of them have been fingertip juggles that required spectacular plays. But when an offense is sputtering, those plays are desperately needed, and they simply aren’t happening for the Giants.
67: Passing yards by Rams third-string quarterback Austin Davis during his game-winning drive. Prior to yesterday he had 192 career passing yards.
