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This Week in Hurt: Everyone is broken in Arizona

Every week bones break and muscles rip around the NFL. We’ll take a look at the most significant injuries, and what happens next. The Arizona Cardinals just lost their first game of the season. While they would still prefer to be undefeated with a shiny zero in the loss column, the effort required to have […]

We already need to start giving J.J. Watt serious MVP consideration

The NFL has named an MVP 57 times, each year since 1957. During those years it’s been a quarterback 37 times, and a running back 18 times. A defensive player was determined to be the most valuable in the league and to his team during a season twice, the most recent coming 28 years ago […]

Prince Amukamara is playing better because of…sex?

Prince Amukamara has two interceptions through the Giants’ first four games of this season. Over his first three seasons he had only three picks. He’s also recorded seven passes defensed, which is already halfway to his total from last year. Amukamara is suddenly ballin’ out hard and shutting down half the field in the Giants’ secondary. […]

Larry Donnell shouldn’t have benched Larry Donnell on his fantasy team

Larry Donnell caught seven passes for 54 yards and three touchdowns a week ago as his Giants trampled the Redskins. Which was great for Larry Donnell in reality, but not so great for Larry Donnell in fantasy. See, Larry Donnell owns Larry Donnell on his fantasy football team. During a moment of uncertainty or perhaps […]

The top five dynasties in NFL history

Sponsored by the Ford Motor Company Parity has taken a heavy grip on today’s NFL, and we’re nearing the point where our definition of a dynasty needs to be altered. But there was a time when dynasties roamed the league. Dating back to the ‘60s, each decade has been owned by one team. Here are the […]

Joseph Fauria injured his ankle chasing a urinating puppy

When a puppy is around the house there’s a constant state of high alert. How long has it been since he was last outside?  What did he do outside? Should he go outside now? Why is he not outside now? Those are all questions asked repeatedly, by the minute, because the alternative is some urine […]

Bill Belichick laughs at a Tom Brady question

Tom Brady was horrible last night, to put it sort of politely. He turned the ball over three times (an interception and two fumbles) while the Patriots were roundhouse kicked by Kansas City, losing 41-14. But while Brady’s slump and downward slide is real, his entire team was horrible too. He received little help from […]

13 crazy stats from Week 4

You will remember Week 4 of the 2014 NFL season as the time Steve Smith showed us that, yes, he will take your spork and break it. Smith finished with 139 receiving yards and two touchdowns against his former team. 19.9: Smith’s average yardage per reception. That included a Globetrotters style 61-yard catch when a […]

This Week in Hurt: Do the Panthers have any more running backs?

Every week bones break and muscles rip around the NFL. We’ll take a look at the most significant injuries, and what happens next. Staying on the field has always been a problem for running backs in Carolina. But Jonathan Stewart and DeAngelo Williams usually have the courtesy to schedule their injuries at different times. This […]

Why Larry Donnell could have a huge year

Larry Donnell is a massive human, and usually when you’re around someone of his size and general mountain-like stature, the assumption is he won’t exactly be nimble. At 6’6” and weighing 265 pounds he should be a lumbering lug, a behemoth who operates on the football field with force, not finesse. But he has plenty […]

Now you can own a paper cutout of Alex Smith

This won’t be nearly as popular as the Tim Tebow cutout from a few years ago, because nothing on this Earth is as popular as something touched by the hand of Tebow. Alex Smith’s cutout is weirdly terrifying. Would you want this thing with its large forehead just sitting there at your desk, staring all […]

DeAngelo Williams wears goggles, is ready for blood and guts

When Steve Smith was released by the Carolina Panthers back in March and then signed by the Ravens, he warned of “blood and guts” coming during the Week 4 game between the two teams. As a safety precaution he urged everyone to wear goggles. DeAngelo Williams believes in a safe workplace. I’m ready for sunday

Is Philip rivers the best quarterback from the 2004 draft class?

Four quarterbacks were selected in the first round of the 2004 NFL draft. A decade later, there are four Super Bowl rings split between Eli Manning and Ben Roethlisberger, and we can only assume J.P. Losman is surfing somewhere. But Philip Rivers—the other guy who’s still very much in the league—may have now developed into […]

Why there’s a Super Bowl contender among the 3-0 teams

Remember the 2011 Buffalo Bills, and how their season ended? Of course you don’t. Only the faithful Bills mafia would have room in their memories for such a thing, and even they’re trying to forget. That year the Bills started the season 3-0 and there was boundless optimism again in upstate New York. Then they […]

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